I have spent the last several weeks almost feeling sorry for myself. Even if you have been around me, you would have only seen my smiling face and not the struggle in my soul. There have been so many who have blessed me with meals and help around the house that I feel undeserving. For what can I do for you?
For me, I easily get overwhelmed about what I need to do and just can't. This weekend it was a chore to get down to the beach to see my son play soccer. I even had a fall (everyone who saw it said I did it graciously) as I was going up the steps. I was embarresed and just cried, my friends did a great job of cheering me up and before long I was eating polish water ice and smiling. I am very thankful that God does not leave me in the depths of my despair but lately it seems that I am returning there more and more.
I know that each day for me is a battle, one that I often don't want to fight! I start each day saying to my husband that today I will work hard and some days I do. Others I don't do so well.
Yesterday was a good day, I was even able to do some walking at my son's baseball game. Today, I am not sure but I will fight because that is just what I do. If I don't fight through the tough days, it is like I am telling God that He is wrong and it is Him who gives me the strenth to take on this awful desease!
I Peter 1:13-16
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."
For all of us life is hard in different ways, let us just remember to put up the good fignt and finish the race well
Smiling through the tears :)
Terri
